The second birthday came, Disney theme this time, and man oh man did we all have an awesome time. A year older now, he ripped through his presents and played with his toy cars, stuffed animals and other toys. Jumping around, climbing around and just being a boy….a happy boy, excited about life and loving every minute of it.                  

 

     Then the wheels fell off…..slowly at first, then in such a hurry we didn’t know what hit us. As I returned home from work on a summer day in June, Kim mentioned Jaxen fell at daycare and probably had a concussion. I thought, this happens to kids often…no worries. A few days passed and he was vomiting on and off…but more importantly stumbling around. We took him to the hospital to get looked at, they did a CT scan and didn’t see anything. Again, Kim and I weren’t too, too worried so we took him home. After another day or so we were right back but this time things were different. They did another CT scan and an MRI on his brain……..things would never ever be the same……..ever.

 

      My son, our son, Brynley’s brother had brain cancer. The panic began. We had no idea what hit us….I remember pulling in the driveway at night and seeing a neighbor and saying for the first time…”Jaxen has brain cancer”. As the first few days passed, we were given three names of virtually untreatable and deadly types of brain cancer….hoping Jaxen didn’t have one of these. Well, our hopes and fears all came true when he was diagnosed with Pineoblastoma, one of the rarest and most fatal pediatric cancers around.

 

      Kim and her research began and we quickly knew we were fighting against all odds. Jaxen was hurting so much, you could see it in his eyes. First things first, a shunt was drilled into his skull to relieve pressure as a plan of attack was being put together. Unfortunately, the cancer wasn’t just in his brain, from day one it was also all the way up and down his spine…..So hard watching him cry and grimace in pain…sitting there day after day helpless….

 

      Two weeks after the diagnosis, one of the countless MRI’s came back and I remember our oncologists meeting us in the room saying they have never seen cancer grow so fast, so soon and that the next 24 hours were critical! Tough pill to swallow not knowing if this was it. Jaxen wasn’t quite ready yet…he hung on.

 

       At such a young age radiation is not an option so the chemo began, but it didn’t last long, not even one cycle, as my little warrior was weak and even though he fought with all he had, he couldn’t overcome such a burden. Like a scene from ER or Grey’s Anatomy, on July 24, 2016, things got crazy. I have never seen so many doctors, nurses and aides fill a room so fast. Kim and I just looked at each other knowing this was time. I will not describe the scene as it has replayed in my mind thousands of times…..but the feeling of seeing your son lose his battle is something no parent should ever have to go through. Five weeks to the day of the diagnosis, Kim, myself and Brynley had lost our Jaxen.